So I'm sitting in the kitchen reading when the doorbell rings, I am suddenly very apprehensive, not because i'm hiding from the FBI or anything, but beacause it may be a door to door salesman. Not because I don't want to be sold anything, but because I have a dad who is heading for the door. No matter who it is I know it will make my dad angry. It could be my neighbors, "they ain't no good, they go ta flea markets, and that one neigbor girl is always dating black people," he knows her name but he just calls her that girl. Worse it could be a stranger. Strangers make my dad very angry no matter what. But here is something i fear that anyoned in my whole leg -or any other part- of suburbia would do in the same situation. He opens the door, before the man outside says anything dad says, "what is this concerning," in the most urgent tone he can muster, it turns out he's selling lawn care, to which my dad responds, "get off my property before I call the police, and then slams our door. Soon after he returns to a happy, calm state as though it never happened and returns to his original urgent business, flipping around on TV looking for something to watch. This happens every once and a while, maybe every three weeks someone tries to sell something door to door and everytime my dad reacts with this same urgent ferociousness. You may say, " yeah, that's annoying," well sure. Let's put ourselves in the door to door salesman's place for a second though:

You have to walk through every house on the block, ringing doorbells.

At many of the houses, people threaten sick dogs on you, threaten your life, tell you you're a menace, scream at you, cuss you out, slam the door in your face, and why? "I have no time for people, I'm watching re-runs of leave it to beaver! How dare you ring my doorbell, Eddie Haskel is up to his old tricks again and I'd much rather spend time with him... I can't say no thank you or I'm sorry I'm not interested, that takes too much of my TV time!" TV people are safe, they won't let you down, real people take your time, TV people fill you up with morals and get amnesia, and get locked in meat freezers, and get hypnotised, and switch bodies and all those hilarious things that happen in every sitcom, screw the fact it happens in every show, it's so funny. Waiters, store clerks and civil servents dont matter, give me Gilligan and the Skipper, Samantha and Daren, Will and Grace, they don't cause problems. That is the cause of my dad's hostility towards others, he needs to have someone to blame, but half the people he knows are TV people and they are all blameless, and it cannot be his friends and family, I mean do you think your mom is the problem? I didn't think so. Then it must be all those strangers, right, it has to be the clerks and the janitors and the telemarketers and the door to door salesmen, they cause all those problems.... what were the problems again? Oh yeah, thats right, you're sad and you don't know why, big problem, well guess what? Those telemarketers and those door to door salesmen and all those other people who are taking away your time to be alone and bored are somebody's mother, and some people know that they are not the cause of "the problems." So who is, well maybe there are no problems, maybe the only problem is us needing someone to blame, good job everyone, we can all now thrive because we found someone new to blame, everyone we don't know.